Aftermath
by fiction2 aka Rion
Summary: How does a man like Craig recover from the brutal treatment of his jailers after his escape? With thanks to Mandi Sheridan, whose story – 'The Horsemen' inspired this one. COMPLETE


_WARNING: Contains adult themes and implied violence._

AFTERMATH – By Fiction2 aka Rion _(__with thanks to Mandi Sheridan, whose story – 'The Horsemen' inspired this one.)_

"Craig, it's ok," she murmured hoping he could get past the pain, degradation and humiliation that had been heaped upon him.

"No, it'll never be ok," came his response. She edged nearer to him carefully, mindful that he was still in considerable pain from the beatings he had undergone.

"Let me help you –please Craig."

"No," he responded, "I can't let you in, can't let you see everything that happened to me."

"I already know what happened, what they did, I know the worst Craig and it's ok- none of it was your fault, none of it – they just wanted an American – any American – to vent their hatred on – you were just in the wrong place – I'm so sorry."

He edged away from her, slowly; almost relishing the pain the effort to move cost him.

"Don't punish yourself Craig, don't let them win – you're strong, you can't let this diminish you –let me in, let me help you."

She looked deep into his brown eyes willing him to listen to her, to trust her, to take what she was offering. She knew she could force him to let her in, could make him let her help him – he'd been so weakened and demoralised by his experiences. She also knew that to do so could damage him irreparably, his self esteem had taken such a battering, he'd been made to feel such pain, humiliation and helplessness- he didn't need her to reinforce his inability to prevent the assaults on his mind and body. He had to let her in of his own volition.

"I can't help you if you won't let me," she said.

That restored a little of his pride – she was right, she couldn't force this on him, he had to allow it – he had control over this, he was beginning to regain some control over what happened to him – the realisation felt good. He looked back at her and a spark of feeling came into his eyes.

'I'm going to succeed,' she thought elatedly.

"Craig, I love you, you are a part of me, you know that everything that happens to you happens to me too –we share it all, always, and I need to be able to help you – it hurts me more when you shut me out when you know I can help you- please Craig please," she begged.

Slowly, so slowly, he edged towards her and she cradled him in her arms. For a long time they lay together, neither of them moving or speaking, neither attempting to activate the link between them. Then she began to probe his mind, he felt her closeness to the things he'd tried so hard to close his mind to, to forget, he shivered involuntarily and drew back a little trying to protect them both from the horrors he had been forced to undergo. Although she'd been aware of all that was being done to him as it happened and had felt the pain along with him at the time, he knew only too well that being in physical contact while he re-lived it would be almost unbearable. He wasn't sure he had the stomach for it and he sure as hell didn't want her to go through it.

"No, Craig, you have to let me reach you, if you don't I can't help you heal."

She was so insistent – maybe she needed to do this as much as he needed the comfort it would bring him. 'What right have I to deny her?' he wondered. She was more than capable of taking care of herself, he knew that, but knowing it intellectually didn't stop him wanting to protect her. Always a man of action, used to being in control, he was having a tough time with this. Given his recent experiences his indecisiveness was unsurprising but that didn't stop him hating the way it made him feel. If he let her in maybe he'd stop feeling this way and get back to his usual self - or maybe he wouldn't - if he continued to hold her off he'd never find out.

"Craig, let go, let me reach you – please," she repeated.

For a few seconds she felt him resist, try desperately to close his mind to her, then, quite suddenly, he let go, the barriers fell and she, for a dizzying moment, contemplated the full horror of all they had inflicted on him. Pain seared through her body and mind as they re-lived everything together. Craig had allowed her access to everything and what she saw made her almost wish she hadn't begged him to let her do this. She felt physically sick – how could anyone do those things to another human being. How could Craig have suffered so much and survived? They'd been barbaric, mercilessly sadistic, viciously cruel – she marvelled that he was able to function at all after such mistreatment. She probed on, fighting her own desire to stop, to break the link, to stop seeing what she was seeing; at last she began to absorb some of his pain and the feelings that went with it.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," he repeated over and over.

"Craig, let it go – let go of the guilt – you could do nothing."

At last the pain began to subside and they clung together in the aftermath of the powerful emotions they had shared.

"Thank you," he quietly whispered.

"I can do more for you Craig – I want to – need to," she pleaded.

His eyes widened in surprise, he moved a little away from her as though to put aside the temptation to accept what she was offering to do for him.

"No, not that- it's too much for you to take, I can't let you do that for me….. I mustn't."

"I thought you would die, every time you blacked out from pain I thought that I'd lost you, that you were never coming back – each time it happened the emptiness was worse. I realised then how much you mean to me. Craig, I need to help you so much, you know the best way is to give you back- let you take back- what they took from you – you need to be in control again – of your body and mine too – you need it, I need it - Craig, I need you."

He moved closer to her, "You know what you'll be letting yourself in for? - The link between us will make everything so much more intense – you really want that, really want me?"

"Oh yes, Craig, oh yes, I want you so much." She leant towards him and kissed his face, then gently brushed his lips with hers before returning to covering his face with kisses. She knew he was going to hurt her physically – the anger, shame and humiliation he'd been holding in since the brutal rapes, beatings and torture he'd endured was too great for him to be able to give her gentleness, at least at first. Her lips found his again and she felt his incredible tension and terrible self-restraint as he tried to maintain his control, to hold back – then all the emotions that he had been suppressing washed over them both, especially the anger, and he was kissing her with desperate intensity, his lips bruising hers, his hands moving roughly over her body almost tearing her clothes in his haste to remove them, when he penetrated her she almost cried out with the pain of it, his need to dominate was so urgent – she bit back the scream of anguish that rose to her lips, gripped the edge of the mattress tightly and took what he needed to give - he was hardly aware of the mental link between them, temporarily immune to her thoughts and feelings, his own need for release was so great: for her the link had never been stronger, she could feel his anger, his humiliation, his pain and - most of all - his overwhelming need to reassert his manhood – she took it all and almost welcomed the pain it caused her because she knew it would give him the closure he needed. Then it was over, he collapsed on top of her, she could feel his heart beating fast. Gradually it slowed, he rolled off her and she looked into his eyes and saw that they were shining with unshed tears.

"I'm so sorry – I hurt you – I know I did, I'm so sorry – I'm no better than they were." she heard the bitterness in his voice and it tore at her heart, he'd suffered so much, she couldn't bear for him to hurt anymore, especially because of her.

"Never think that, they exulted in the pain they made you feel, enjoyed torturing you and watching you in agony, delighted in your suffering - they took pleasure from thinking of and acting upon new ways to hurt, degrade and humiliate you: you're close to tears because you hurt me, you hate that you caused me pain – I could have asked you to stop and you would have – you know that. What they did to you and what just happened between us are completely different things – you can't compare yourself to them. Craig, you needed to do that, you needed it and I needed to help you – you have nothing to apologise for. But….. someday….. soon… Craig… will you make love with me, really make love I mean, not just have sex?"

He looked tenderly into her eyes and saw the tears in his mirrored in hers, as he watched they spilt over onto her cheeks and he leant forward and kissed them away, then slowly and gently he began to kiss her lips. She responded and they kissed deeply and with great tenderness. Then, with more urgency, his tongue gently probed her lips and she parted them to welcome it into her mouth, at the same moment they opened their minds to each other, taking full advantage of what the link offered them. They kissed long and deep, sometimes passionately and sometimes gently as their passion ebbed and flowed. Unhurriedly his hands began to roam over her body – gently this time – finding and stroking everywhere that he knew would give her pleasure, she began to caress him in return – the link between them making it easy for them to know exactly how and where to stroke, kiss and caress to give almost unbearable pleasure. For him the sensations were heightened by the knowledge that his body, so sadistically abused, was now being kissed and touched so tenderly, so lovingly, by someone intent on giving him as much pleasure as she could, the last of his pain ebbed away, replaced by pleasure of immeasurable intensity.

"I love you."

"I know."

At last he entered her, gently this time, and her body welcomed him eagerly, although not completely without pain – she was still tender from his earlier, more urgent penetration. For long moments they lay still, almost afraid to move and increase the intensity of all they were feeling. At last they began to move and all thought ceased and sensations took over. They made love for a long time, relishing the double sensations they felt – first from their own bodies then from each other's via the link. Their heightened powers of self-control and intimate knowledge of their own and each other's bodies enabling them to prolong their love making almost beyond what even they would have believed possible, taking each other to the brink of ecstasy and remaining there without tipping over the edge. Minds and bodies perfectly inter-twined, giving and receiving exquisite pleasure. It was infinitely tender and loving and, at the same time, almost unbelievably arousing and exciting, building and building - always upwards until …. ….

….the climax, when it came, was so earth-shatteringly powerful that they were plunged into a twilight world of nothingness – there were no thoughts, no feelings, even sensations had ceased, time itself stood still. How long they were in that world neither of them ever knew. Then a sensation of floating came to them, lying on clouds that parted to let them float down slowly to the next cloud, on and on, ever downwards. For eons they lay together in that world then, gradually, awareness returned, first awareness of their own breathing, then of each other. They opened their eyes and looked at one another and the emotion that washed over them was so strong it threatened to sweep them back into the 'nothing world' again. The feeling passed, the world steadied and they were able to smile at each other.

Neither spoke, there was no need, they both knew Craig was on the way to being whole again. Time enough later for thought and words - for now they were content to lie in each other's arms and relish the intense pleasure that they had shared.


End file.
